The King of Disco-Punk. The Godfather of the Remix. The Supreme Eminent Archon of Dance. I don't know who any of these people are actually, but I bet they would all agree DFA Records' James Murphy is some pretty hot shit. That's right: if there's one thing you need to know upfront, it's that James Murphy is possibly the most beautiful man to have ever lived.

But how does such a beautiful man become a musical genius on par with Beethoven, Bach, and early Jethro Tull? Well, just like these famous musicians, James was born in Princeton Junction, New Jersey, a city whose residents have historically all scored an 8 or higher on the Hot-or-Not website. Murphy's musical journey began when he started teaching himself piano at age 4. By age 6 he was giving lessons, and by age 19 he had finally learned how to plug in his keyboard without getting electrocuted. At his first shows James covered "Janie Jones" and "I Ran (So Far Away)" with a bunch of kiddie punk and new wave bands until he moved to New York City in 1989, and soon added to his repertoire an ironic cover of Mahler's Ninth Symphony. The first record Murphy ever bought was a seven-inch of Bowie's "Fame"; the second record Murphy ever bought is pretty embarrassing, and I have been instructed not to tell you what it was.